I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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