also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Randomize
