Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
