I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Everclear isn't food dammit
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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