Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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