he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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