Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
