I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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