So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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