Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
