Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
