She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
