Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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