it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so explain again why im purple
no
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize