i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
