the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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