I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
