Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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