CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
