I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
that's an acceptable place to lick
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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