so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
