i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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