Do you still have your period?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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