White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
