i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ketchup is God's man juice
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize