Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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