I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
