I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
