4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
