I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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