i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
