question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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