I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
