last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
