super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
