if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
