No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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