sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
