in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
