i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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