you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
