chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
