Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize