just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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