we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this will be a night to untag.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
