10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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