DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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