Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
