; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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