he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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