if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
