he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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