Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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