Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
