Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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