Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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