she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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