"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
